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Deadpool VS Deathstroke
Deadpool VS Deathstroke is the thirty-ninth episode of Death Battle. It features Deadpool from Marvel Comics and Deathstroke from DC Comics. The Fight is completely computer animated in 3D and features Takahata101 as the voice of Deadpool and LordJazor as the voice of Deathstroke. Description Marvel VS DC! It's the Merc with a Mouth against the Terminator! Whose killing skills outmatch the other? The copycat or the original? Introduction Wiz: They say imitation is the highest form of flattering, but sometimes it's nothing but a slap in the face. Such as the case when it comes to these two mass mercenaries. Boomstick: Deadpool, the merc with a mouth. Wiz: And Deathstroke, the terminator. Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle. Deadpool Boomstick: You see him on T-Shirts, Internet memes, and EVERYWHERE you look at nerd conventions. Wiz: But the story behind this popular anti-hero isn't as light hearted as his joking nature would lead you to believe. Wade Winston Wilson was a globetrotting mercenary looking for his chance to be the world's next greatest superhero. Then he was diagnosed with cancer, which hit him like a flamming semi truck falling on his face. Boomstick: That's... oddly specific. Wiz: Facing the inevitability of death, Wade gave up. He abandoned his heroic dreams, stopped his chemo treatments, and dumped his girlfriend to free her from the burden of the man doomed to die. Boomstick: Doomed, until he was offered a cure by a Department K, the special weapons development division of the strange, alien world called... Canada. *cues * And by cure, I mean he actually was handed over to the Weapon X program, the same guys who gave Wolverine's bones the old chrome dip. They injected Wade with Wolvie's healing factor. Wiz: Which I don't even know if that's possible, do they have a spare jar of essence of Wolverine or something? Boomstick: With the ability to heal from anything, his body became a surgical playground for Doctor Killbrew and his assistant Ajax, just like Operation, only constantly hitting the sides, *buzzer effects* but hey, at least he doesn't have cancer anymore. Wiz: Well, actually he still does. His cells just regenerate faster than the cancer can kill him. Beneath the red and black spandex, he's basically a giant walking tumor, which can talk... a lot. Boomstick: (panicked) AH!!! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!!! *realized* Oh wait. We can't. Wiz: Meanwhile, among Killbrew's other prisoners, a gambling ring was formed. Patients would place bets on each other's survival under the knife. Boomstick: And these bets are placed in line of what they called "The Deadpool". Get it! Cause that's kinda where his name comes from. You know, you'll see. Wiz: Unfortunately for Killbrew, Wade has somehow gotten superhuman strength, speed, and stamina. 'Cuz I guess they got a jar filled with that shit too. He uses these skills to kill Ajax and make a dramatic escape. Free at last, his fellow inmates inspired him to take on his now famous namesake... Boomstick: Deadpool---''' Deadpool enters in, interrupting Boomstick's last sentence. Deadpool: '♪DEADPOOOOOOL♪ 'Yeah! '''Boomstick: What the heck! Deadpool: (chuckles, talks to Boomstick and Wiz) Oh ho I'm sorry! Please continue talking about how great I am. Wiz: I was afraid of this. See, Deadpool somehow posses a unique awareness of whatever media he's in. Whether there be comic books, games, tv shows, or an awesome Internet show. Boomstick: Huh in the what now? Wiz: Basically, he's a pro at shattering the 4th wall. Deadpool: Bingo! Oh hey Boomstick, tell your ex-wife I said hello~. (purred) Boomstick: You've got 5 seconds to get the hell out of here before I blow your head off! Wiz: Unfortunately, all that would do was piss him off! Bad idea as Deadpool is a Master Martial Artist, Seasoned Assassin, and a Raging Sex Machine--- what!? Deadpool: Yeah! I noticed that you left a few things in the script, so I made some changes. You know, just the "important" stuff. Like my penis. Boomstick: Well, if I were a raging sex machine, he means getting down with bloated alien, a shape-shifting teenage prostitute, and Death herself, he must have some pretty low standards. That's right! This guy literally trying to stick his dick in Death, maybe that's why he likes my ex-wife. But besides his dick, Deadpool has an arsenal of weaponry he can pull out from absolutely nowhere! Wiz: This is an animation technique commonly called the Magic Satchel, though its existence as a natural thing is preposterous. Deadpool: Oh yeah? Watch this! Deadpool reaches out from the pit of the satchel, and pulled out a large elephant like pulling out a rabbit out of the top hat. *trumpets* Wiz: (annoyed) I hate you! Deadpool: (opposite in same manner of "I love you") Oh I hate you too. Boomstick: Me too. Some of Deadpool's favorite toys include---''' Deadpool's second attempt of interrupting Boomstick from finishing the sentence, again. Deadpool: My trusty rusty twin katana, some grenades, my two favorite machine guns, butter and I can't believe it's not butter, a teleportation belt, an infinity stone that alters continuity... (giddy) Ohoho I can't choose! I love them all! '''Boomstick: (pissed) Okay that's it! I'm gonna kill him! (charges and aims his shotgun at Deadpool) Deadpool: La-la-la-la-la-la-la... (runs away unscathed the missed gunfire just shot directly to the screen instead) Wiz: Combined, Deadpool's weapon and abilities has helped him to accomplish some amazing feats inspite of his illness. Boomstick: His quick draw's fast enough to beat 7 Hydra agents at once, he can decimate legions of armed warriors solo while talking on a phone, he's the only one to ever outwit Taskmaster, who literally has the power to predict his opponents' moves, and at one instance, he even murdered the entire Marvel Universe, including the supposedly unkillable Wolverine. Wiz: He did this with the sword made of carbonadium, an alloy capable of nullifying healing factors. In other words, he cheated! Boomstick: He survived skyscrapers collapsing on top of him, having his heart riped out, his head blown to bits, and even his entire body melted into a puddle. Wiz: But his regeneration is also responsible for one of his greatest downfalls. This power has trained him to think he's invincible, and so he becomes quite careless in battle. Boomstick: And that just of his extreme ADHD hasn't already put him to a bind. Wiz: Yet there are few more deadliy than the regenerating degenerate. Really, Deadpool finally accomplish his dream of becoming the next great superhero. Deadpool: Aww that's sweet of you guys! Wanna see me naked? Wiz: Wait! What? No no no!! Deadpool shows them his naked frame from the comic, scarring them from the disturbance. Boomstick: (groaning) Augh! My eyes! Can't... Close them out... Fast enough! Deadpool: Aaand now you're scarred for life! Let's see my competition. Deathstroke Wiz: In the history of the DC universe, there has never existed a more lethal tactitian and soldier than Slade Joseph Wilson. After illegally joining the US military at the age of 16, he fought in Korea for years where his skilled earned the attention of an experimental serum program and the lovely Captain Adeline Kane. Boomstick: This is sounding suspiciously like the origin story of Captain America. Wiz: Slade actually gets the girl. Boomstick: Oh never mind! But does he steal cars? Wiz: Probably. Slade completely mastered every fighting style undere Adeline's tuilage in record time. Apparently, this impressed her so much they were married with a kid on the way in mere months. Boomstick: Now that's my kind of woman! "Oh, you're a badass? No roses or dates! Let's fight people, get married, and plow" Feeling pretty fucking great about life, Slade volunteered for an experiment that would help him resist enemy truth serums. Everything went exactly as planned... Panels of Deathstroke lashing out appear along with the sounds of screaming and shattering glass. Boomstick: You'd think these guys would've learned by now. (*cues Injustice: Gods Among Us - Main Theme*) Wiz: Wouldn't you know it, the injection did not have the effects they were looking for. But instead of ruining his life forever, the experiment accidentally transformed Slade into the deadliest assassin in the world. A Terminator if you will... which begs the question, what on Earth does the US military think is in truth serums? Boomstick: Slade rose as a new man known to the world as Deathstroke. A picture of Deathstroke is shown, but it has a top hat, monocle, mustache, and "LOL!" drawn on it by Deadpool to make fun of his opponent. Wiz: Really? Deadpool appears on screen. Deadpool: Don't forget to like, fav, and subscribe! (as Zoidberg) Whoop, whoo-oo, whoop! Deadpool then runs off. Boomstick: Deathstroke is nearly superhuman. He can hit harder, run faster, react quick, and push himself longer than an Olympic athlete. Plus, he can use 90% of his brain, unlike the average 10%. Wiz: Come on! If we really only used 10% of our brains, we'd be about as dumb as sheep! Boomstick: You're a sheep! Wiz: What's important here is that Deathstroke's mind can process information nine times more efficiently than an ordinary man. He can think quicker, hear better, and see faster... Goddamnit, that's not a really thing! Boomstick: Ooh! We should put him and Captain America into a staring contest! Wiz: *groans* He also has a healing factor, which can repair any part of his body... even if his brain is blown to smithereens. Boomstick: Bringing him back from the dead. Wiz: Unfortunately, life back home was rough for Slade. His abilities were put to the test when his son was kidnapped by a group of rival mercenaries. Despite a successful rescue, his son lost the ability to speak. Boomstick: So his ungrateful wife lashed out in rage and Slade was never the same. Wiz: Literally. A picture of Adeline pointing a gun at Deathstroke is shown before blacking out with a gunshot sound. Boomstick: But he's one step closer to his secret dream of becoming a pirate. Question, Wizard: If he has a healing factor, how come he's still missing that eye? Wiz: Well no one knows, Boomstick, but perhaps not even a healing factor can repair the deepest of emotional wounds. Boomstick: Oh that's bullshit! Wiz: Despite his new lack of deph perception, Deathstroke remained as skilled as ever. Boomstick: Partially thanks to his favorite gear. I'm talkin' dual machine guns, a sniper rifle, and a super bomb... Wiz: Which is actually just a glorified flashbang grenade with trace bits of kryptonite. Guess who that's for? Deadpool shows up again. Deadpool: The guy who fought Goku in one of the most biased fanboy videos ever! Wiz: Shut up, Wade! Deadpool: Okay, Ben! Boomstick: This is just getting weird. Deadpool drops off-screen. Boomstick: So back to the weapons. Deathstroke prefers his sweet Thundercat-style sword and laser-shooting energy lance. Also, he's got an awesome suit of armor, made up of kevlar and Nth metal. Wiz: Oh look! Yet another fictional allow that's stronger and lighter than titanium! Also, he has armor composed of promethium. Boomstick: Well my shirt is made up of Boomstickium. See? I can make up alloys too, writers. Wiz: Actually, Boomstick, promethium is a real thing. Boomstick: Oh come on! Wiz: Though in real life, it's a chemical used in atomic batteries to power guided missiles and spacecrafts. But in comic book land, it's not that at all. It can absorb energy, is incredibly strong, and is self-regenerative. Boomstick: Wait, so his suit has a healing factor too? So, does like his zipper try and close itself when he wants to take a leak? Because that's horrifying. I mean I remember when I got my junk stuck in the toaster... Wiz: With his impressive skills and arsenal, Deathstroke has defeated dozens of ninjas at once, survived an exploding nuclear submarine, and took down most of the Justice League by himself. Boomstick: He's also really good at push-ups. Shows the footage of Deathstroke in his cell room doing some push-ups. Wiz: ...Uh, how many push-ups can he do? Boomstick: All of them. Wiz: Despite multiple members of the Justice League agreeing he's the best tactitian on the planet, Deathstroke is known for violent outbursts of rage when in extreme pain. Depending on who he's fighting, this can make him even more dangerous. Boomstick: Deathstroke doesn't just solve problems. He terminates them. Deathstroke: I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest... and neither will you. Fight (Scene starts at a set of traffic lights turning red, the camera then cuts to a poster of Deathstroke with a $5,000,010 bounty, camera then pans to Deadpool's bounty poster with a $5,000,000 bounty) Deadpool: PFFT! What a rip! Seriously, what makes this chump worth $10 bucks more than me? C'mon! I'm me! *chuckles* What!? Am I right? Deathstroke: ... Deadpool: Yeah, I am. I'm pretty sure. (Deadpool and Deathstroke realise they are next to each other and somersault backwards) Deathstroke: It's your lucky day. I can show you. Deadpool: Oh,boy! A show? Can I get popcorn first? I hope they have Salt and Pepper shakers. (Instead of the announcer saying "Fight" Deadpool says it) (Both combatants shoot at each other deflecting each one of their bullets) Deadpool: BANG! BANG! BANG! (Both combatants run out of ammo) Deadpool: Uh-Oh! (Deathstroke pulls out two ammo clips from his armour only to realise that Deadpool has disappeared) (Deadpool teleports behind him) Deadpool: BAMF! (Deadpool beats Deathstroke while continuously teleporting) Deadpool: Shoryuken! BAMF! (Deadpool leaps into the air) Deadpool: Check out this rad air! (Deathstroke get hit and lands on the ground pulling out a bo staff) (Deadpool lands on the ground) Deadpool: A Donatello fan, huh? I was always more of a Leonardo guy myself. Although, I think other peoples' opinion on me would be Michaelangelo, you know that's them being more- (Deathstroke hits him) Deadpool: I will not be labelled! (The combatants continue fighting) Deadpool: BAMF! *teleports* Let's do this! (Continues fighting Deathstroke) (Deathstroke shoots Deadpool) Deadpool: OW! OW! OH, MY KIDNEY! (Deadpool teleports into the air) Deadpool: Comin' at ya! (Deadpool teleports away realising his swords are broken) (Deathstroke arrives) Deadpool: I gotta say, It's kinda an honour for me to get the snot beaten out of me by you of all people. Bruises aside, of course. But- Deathstroke: Let's see what kind of mark this leaves on you. (Deathstroke jabs Deadpool onto the road just so he gets hit by a truck) Deadpool: ACK! (his wound heals quickly from his regenerating healing factor) *talks to truck driver* Hey buddy! Don't let me slow you down! (Deadpool teleports on top of the truck) Deadpool: Where is that son of a gun? I will show him what for I swear *Gets sniped by Deathstroke* OOoooh, SHIT! (Deadpool lands on windscreen again) Deadpool:*talks to the truck driver again* Look at me, LOOK AT ME! Do not slow down! (Deadpool teleports on top of truck again) (Deathstroke shoots at Deadpool while he keeps teleporting) Deadpool: MISSED ME! *Makes Zoidberg sounds* (While he was warping back and forward from Deathstroke's gunshots, he then teleported to the opposite side of the bridge) Deadpool: I! HATE! YOUR! DUMB FACE! (Deathstroke punches Deadpool ) Deadpool: OH, MY KIDNEY! (Deadpool gets punched down) (Deathstroke pulls out his sword) Deadpool: Oh is it swordfight time? Good thing I carry spares! (Deadpool and Deathstroke continue fighting) (Deadpool parries Deathstroke) Deadpool: Guess it's cutting time! (Deadpool continuously cuts Deathstroke) (The combatants keep fighting) (Deathstroke breaks Deadpool's spare swords) Deathstroke: If you spent half as much time concentrating as you do talking, perhaps you would be less predictable. Deadpool: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I'M PREDICTABLE!? (Deadpool pulls out a boombox and hits play) (Deadpool somehow changed his clothes in a split second from his signature red and black jumpsuit to sweats with chains) Deadpool: I'm just getting warmed up! (Deadpool breakdances while dodging Deathstroke's attacks) Deadpool: *sings* Tick-Tick, Dynamite! Keep jumping for me! Watch the fight! (Deathstroke shoots the truck's tires causing it to skid and cause hundreds of car crashes) (Both combatants stagger) (Deadpool teleports just as a car flies towards both him and Deathstroke while Deathstroke dodges it) (Vans and cars keep crashing, all the metal scraping against the asphalt, groaning and extreme effects like Michael Bay's film with explosions) (Deadpool and Deathstroke both leap off two different trucks) (The truck tips over while the combatants fight in mid-air and then land) (Deadpool keeps getting slashed) Deadpool: OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW! MY SPLEEN! MY LEG! (Deathstroke sends Deadpool flying) (Deadpool lands on car) Deadpool: OH! IT'S CRAMPING! (Deathstroke cuts the car in half causing an explosion. He then realises his sword is missing.) (Deadpool teleports behind Deathstroke and stabs him) Deadpool: Bye-Bye Deathstroke! (Truck flies into Deadpool) God Dammit! (Deadpool says something about him being hurt) (Truck explodes) (Deadpool gets up revealing that he's missing an arm) Deadpool: Wow that escalated quickly. You might want to lay low for a couple of days because you are responsible for a mass murder. (Deadpool puts his limb back on while Deathstroke, who is missing his mask wakes up) Deadpool: *laughs* Hey, it's a Deathstroke kabob! (He then realises he's missing a leg too and has mistakenly attached it to his arm while his arm is attached to his leg) Deadpool: Whoops! Hold on, give me a sec. (Deadpool attaches his limbs in the correct places while Deathstroke gets up and pulls his sword out of his chest) Deadpool: Whoa, hold on! You heal fast too? I got something special for that! (pulls out sword) Carbonadium Sword! Murdering all your pesky Wolverines and Saberteeth since 2012! Good year for cinema! (The combatants fight once more) (While their swords are locked Deadpool points a gun at Deathstroke's face) Deadpool: (to the fourth wall warning for a graphic scene) All the children in the audience, cover your eyes! (Deadpool fires) (Deathstroke staggers while covering his wounded eye that was formed by the gun's bullet) (Deadpool teleports behind Deathstroke and cuts his head off) *Screen blacks out* Deathstroke: (deep voice) The moral of the story is... (Deadpool reveals himself puppeteering Deathstroke's head) Deadpool: (normal voice) Deadpool wins! YAY! (Explosions are heard) (Deadpool sings Macarena while replacing two lines) Deadpool (replacing lines): This is totally racist. HEYYY CHIMICHANGAAAAAAA! AAAhAA! Announcer: K.O! Results Deadpool appears on-screen. Deadpool: Oh YouTube comments. Oh, I see you rolling. Oh, you're hating. Oh, it wounds me so... it doesn't at all. Explain how I beat this asshole. Wiz: Don't tell me how to do my job. *clears throat* This was a surprisingly even match. Though Deathstroke was the superior fighter of the two and had the better armor, Deadpool could take all his punishment and give just as much. Boomstick: Deathstroke's smart, so normally he would have no problem predicting his opponent's moves, but Deadpool is so unpredictable not even Taskmaster, or sometimes even himself for that matter, can keep up with whatever he's doing. Wiz: Unfortunately for Deathstroke, he didn't have the means to put Deadpool down for good. And while Deathstroke's healing factor was perfect for repairing damage, Deadpool's trumped his by being capable of replacing entire organs at a much faster rate. Sometimes the original isn't always the best. Boomstick: Deadpool is just a cut above the rest. Wiz: The winner is... Deadpool: Spider-Man! I mean Deadpool! Shit! Trivia *This is the fifth Death Battle to be computer animated, the other four being Link VS Cloud, Goku VS Superman, Terminator VS RoboCop and Godzilla VS Gamera. * This is the sixth Death Battle episode in which a Disney owned character and a Warner Bros. owned character were pitted against each other, the first five being Rogue vs. Wonder Woman, Luke Skywalker vs. Harry Potter, Thor vs. Raiden, Batman vs. Spiderman, and Batman VS Captain America. ** It is also the fourth Marvel VS DC fight. *** This is also the third time the Marvel character has defeated the DC character,since Batman had defeated Captain America * This is the third Death Battle to feature TeamFourStar's Takahata101. The first was Vegeta vs Shadow, as the voice of Shadow, and the second was Terminator VS RoboCop, as the voice of the gunshop owner the Terminator killed. * Not counting Toph Beifong, this is the first Death Battle to be offically revealed before the fight prior to it was released. **This is also the first battle to come before a battle that was announced before it * This battle was supposed to be aired after Kirby VS Majin Buu, but due to the second delay happening, it now airs before. * When Deadpool saw Deathstroke bringing out the Bo staff, he usually wonders if Slade was a Donatello fan as he Wade uses twin katanas like Leonardo, though others' opinions on him were more of Michelangelo since Leo is tactical while Mikey isn't. * This is the first battle in which one of the combatants directly interacts and converses with Wiz and Boomstick. ** Also, when they were stating about the super bomb and doing a "guessing game" directly to Superman, Deadpool makes a reference about the previous Death Battle Goku vs Superman from it being the "most biased fanboy videos ever", Deadpool even called him Ben instead of his nickname "Wiz". Category:Death battles Category:'DC vs Marvel' themed Death Battles Category:'Disney vs Warner Bros.' themed Death Battles Category:Season 2 episodes Category:Computer Animated Death Battles Category:Fights animated by Torrian